Rattling Window Clinger Thingys
Just a word of advice to anyone who lives near a heliport or military base with helicopter traffic and wants to put up those suction cup things with crystal thingys hanging down that rest against the glass:
DON'T DO IT.
I found out the hard way after I put up about a dozen of the neat little things that make colorful refractions and reflections around upstairs bedroom. Around 2 in the AM a MH-53 Helo decides to buzz the house at about 1000 feet, loud, but not unusual for my location. But in this particluar case, the window crystal dangly thingys started to vibrate and rattle against the glass so profusly, it woke my still semi-drunk consiousness out of bed. Thinking the world was coming to and end and some mothership was about to blast my house with one of those Independence Day zapper beams, I stumbled across the bedroom tripping over the newly arranged bedroom layout that my maid decided to torment me with the day before. Finally I made it to the armory and reached for the 40 megwatt plasma rifle. To my dismay the armory turned out to be the hall closet and I didn't see any palsma weapons of any megawatt range, so I had to settle for the baseball bat leaning in the corner. I made a bee line for the staircase. I found the stairs alright, all 19 of them, but not with my feet. Elbows, shoulders, knees, head, I think they all found a step or two.
So there I am at the bottom of the stairs, with a busted up body, a baseball bat and the helo well off in the distance now.
Just as I was about to get all bent out of shape, Brutus comes by and licks me in the face. What a pal. Dogs are such pals. Counldn't help but chuckle.
Oh, yeah. Dangly crystal thingys. They came down this morning.
DON'T DO IT.
I found out the hard way after I put up about a dozen of the neat little things that make colorful refractions and reflections around upstairs bedroom. Around 2 in the AM a MH-53 Helo decides to buzz the house at about 1000 feet, loud, but not unusual for my location. But in this particluar case, the window crystal dangly thingys started to vibrate and rattle against the glass so profusly, it woke my still semi-drunk consiousness out of bed. Thinking the world was coming to and end and some mothership was about to blast my house with one of those Independence Day zapper beams, I stumbled across the bedroom tripping over the newly arranged bedroom layout that my maid decided to torment me with the day before. Finally I made it to the armory and reached for the 40 megwatt plasma rifle. To my dismay the armory turned out to be the hall closet and I didn't see any palsma weapons of any megawatt range, so I had to settle for the baseball bat leaning in the corner. I made a bee line for the staircase. I found the stairs alright, all 19 of them, but not with my feet. Elbows, shoulders, knees, head, I think they all found a step or two.
So there I am at the bottom of the stairs, with a busted up body, a baseball bat and the helo well off in the distance now.
Just as I was about to get all bent out of shape, Brutus comes by and licks me in the face. What a pal. Dogs are such pals. Counldn't help but chuckle.
Oh, yeah. Dangly crystal thingys. They came down this morning.
posted by dag at 8/20/2004 01:46:00 PM
4 Comments:
You have a maid??
Oh, and I'm sorry you fell down the stairs.
...you have a maid??
I know I told you that before. It's the only way to keep my place tidy. Tried to get the dog trained at it, but he didn't budge. Don't get me wrong, I'm no slob, but just choose to spend my time doing more, well, fun things.
I knew you had a personal shopper, I didn't know you had a maid. What are you, Bruce Wayne?
Oh and can I have the crystal thingies then? : )
Bruce Wayne did serve as one of many role models when I was growing up. I was always looking up to independently weathly do good ass kickers with cool gadgets. I promised the clingy crystals to my sister in trade for some wine glasses already, sorry. I still have my personal shopper, love it, saves me so much time.
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